It's like the riddle of the Sphinx... why are there so many great married couples, and no great sex? What is un-natural may not be abnormal, at least in the bedroom of metropolitan people. For decades women have used “Not tonight darling, I’ve got a headache” excuse to avoid sex, but now men in cities are finding new excuses to put off sex as well.
I was talking to my colleague, Khursheed Kanga a Marriage and Family Therapist and she revealed how there’s an increase in her couple clients saying that the husbands were not having enough sex, compared to few years ago. Of course, the all time reasoning for the flagging interest why men were shunning sex was that they were tired, stressed, overworked, etc. However, Khursheed shocked me when she told me how there were many reasons for this flagging interest. One prime reason for the decrease in male sexual desire is the result of women’s changing role in society. Husbands get overwhelmed with the modern woman, who is confident and comfortable with her own sexual needs and desires.
Secondly, blame the internet, which is making men go overboard with sexual images so accessible on the net that they prefer the ever-ready fantasy of the web to the reality! The problem is further worsened by men who turn to alcohol to relax after work, and it has been proven how booze interferes with testosterone.
According to Khursheed, a lot is changing culturally and in an ironical manner. Though we are living in a more sexualized society, many men are not looking for more intensity in their sex lives. Mind you, men’s sex drive doesn’t dip suddenly - it's not like catching a cold where you wake up one morning and whoops, there it is. It is a gradual process. Certain psychological factors can also negatively influence the libido. Job stress and self-esteem are also big factors. If a man's performance at workplace is challenged, and he doesn't feel he is achieving or doesn't feel self-worth, he often numbs himself sexually. Desire is a healthy form of entitlement -- when you don't feel deserving, you shut down.
Talking about the psychological causes of low libido, there are various feelings or emotions that reduce interest in sex in men. Because of fear and anger, sexual desire can disappear in a few situations. Also fear of performance, fear of intimacy, fear of excitement, dissatisfaction with one's own body or suppression of events from childhood, traumatic and sad experiences that haven't been dealt with, nagging from the partner and conflicts in relationships, etc can influence the male libido. For all sorts of reasons, partners may become physically and personally less attractive to each other. Differences in sexual needs and the refusal of partners to respond to advances can lead to doubts about the self-image of the man or the self-image as the beloved partner.
Guys, sex is a great de-stress in today’s stressed out living. Those who want to spice up their sex life, I suggest there is a lot of content on the internet that help men overcome some of the issues they face with age, health or other problems. Also, couples need to talk about each others’ needs but most important is that both have to be willing to make it work. Finally, seek professional help from a qualified psychotherapist should the issues seem to be affecting your mental state of being/peace of mind. Good Luck!
As for me, well I'm thinking about Priesthood!
I was talking to my colleague, Khursheed Kanga a Marriage and Family Therapist and she revealed how there’s an increase in her couple clients saying that the husbands were not having enough sex, compared to few years ago. Of course, the all time reasoning for the flagging interest why men were shunning sex was that they were tired, stressed, overworked, etc. However, Khursheed shocked me when she told me how there were many reasons for this flagging interest. One prime reason for the decrease in male sexual desire is the result of women’s changing role in society. Husbands get overwhelmed with the modern woman, who is confident and comfortable with her own sexual needs and desires.
Secondly, blame the internet, which is making men go overboard with sexual images so accessible on the net that they prefer the ever-ready fantasy of the web to the reality! The problem is further worsened by men who turn to alcohol to relax after work, and it has been proven how booze interferes with testosterone.
According to Khursheed, a lot is changing culturally and in an ironical manner. Though we are living in a more sexualized society, many men are not looking for more intensity in their sex lives. Mind you, men’s sex drive doesn’t dip suddenly - it's not like catching a cold where you wake up one morning and whoops, there it is. It is a gradual process. Certain psychological factors can also negatively influence the libido. Job stress and self-esteem are also big factors. If a man's performance at workplace is challenged, and he doesn't feel he is achieving or doesn't feel self-worth, he often numbs himself sexually. Desire is a healthy form of entitlement -- when you don't feel deserving, you shut down.
Talking about the psychological causes of low libido, there are various feelings or emotions that reduce interest in sex in men. Because of fear and anger, sexual desire can disappear in a few situations. Also fear of performance, fear of intimacy, fear of excitement, dissatisfaction with one's own body or suppression of events from childhood, traumatic and sad experiences that haven't been dealt with, nagging from the partner and conflicts in relationships, etc can influence the male libido. For all sorts of reasons, partners may become physically and personally less attractive to each other. Differences in sexual needs and the refusal of partners to respond to advances can lead to doubts about the self-image of the man or the self-image as the beloved partner.
Guys, sex is a great de-stress in today’s stressed out living. Those who want to spice up their sex life, I suggest there is a lot of content on the internet that help men overcome some of the issues they face with age, health or other problems. Also, couples need to talk about each others’ needs but most important is that both have to be willing to make it work. Finally, seek professional help from a qualified psychotherapist should the issues seem to be affecting your mental state of being/peace of mind. Good Luck!
As for me, well I'm thinking about Priesthood!
Vikram
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